Miko was bored.
Everybody was talking about things that he didn’t care about. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand – he was far more intelligent than the average monkey – he simply didn’t care. All of this fuss about weddings, and disguises, and everything else. They were all human concerns. What he wanted was a banana. He had a bell which he could ring in order to get bananas whenever he wanted one, but he couldn’t ring it then – that would bring the banana lady into the room where the humans were talking, and he knew they wouldn’t want that. They liked to keep their secrets from everybody. So, he jumped down from Amy’s shoulder and went out of the door. Now, where had he put the bell? He was pretty sure that he hadn’t left it somewhere, which meant it was probably still in their bedroom. He bounded up the stairs, largely ignored by the staff of the noble house, climbed the banister across from the door before springing across the gap to pull the door handle. It opened with a satisfying clunk. Miko wandered into the room and looked round. He quickly found the saucer that usually held the bell, but the bell itself was missing. Where was it? He wracked his brain, desperately trying to think where he had last seen it. Yes – he was sure that it should be here. He’d taken it with him when they went out earlier in the day, and Amy had taken it from him, but she’d given it back when they returned. He’d used it since then. And then he’d put it back on the saucer. Who else might have taken it? It wouldn’t be Henri – he actively encouraged usage of the bell. Constance and Melinda thought it was funny – they probably wouldn’t have taken it. Who would want to deprive him of his bell? There was really only one possible answer. The banana-maid! He bounded out of the bedroom again and went back down the stairs, heading for the kitchens. He knew he couldn’t go in there – the cook would try to hit him with a broom and his most charming smiles had done nothing to stop this. He would wait – eventually somebody would call her for something and she’d come out. All of the staff seemed to spend their time in the kitchen when they didn’t have something else to do – it seemed a good place to be. Miko could be patient though. Several minutes passed before he decided that he had waited long enough. He left his post, and moved around to the back gardens to peer in through the window. Hmm – she didn’t seem to be there. Where might she be? With his bell! He sat back on a tree branch, pondering the situation. This was most unsatisfactory. His bell was missing. The maid was missing. He didn’t know where he could get a banana. Then, suddenly, he turned. There was somebody whispering behind the hedge at the end of the garden. He bounded over to a nearer tree and looked down over the edge. Yes – two men were crouched there muttering to each other. They didn’t seem to have any bananas on them. They did have some things though. Black powder in clay pots. Bombs? Why did they have bombs? Bombs were for exploding things. What might they be here to explode? The hedge? A tree? Wait – they’d been talking about this kind of thing. Henri had said that there was a group of people that were trying to kill him and his family. Maybe these two men were a part of that group. Well – Miko wasn’t going to let that happen. He liked Henri – he had given him the banana-bell in the first place! He bounded back to the bedroom quickly and picked up the pistol he’d been given. Drat – it wasn’t loaded. They never let him keep his pistol loaded. He could try to threaten the men with an unloaded pistol… but they might have their own pistols, at which point Miko would really like to be able to return fire. Hmm – that meant that he probably needed two pistols. This was getting more complicated. He went back to the room where he’d started. Everybody was still talking, trying to work out what to do next. He crept up behind Melinda. She always had pistols. And muskets, but they were too big for him. Being very, very careful, he slipped onto her seat beside her, and she absently started to pet him. He reached up to where her pistols sat in her bandolier. Everybody was concentrating on what Henri had to say, so they weren’t looking at Melinda or himself. He slipped out first one pistol, and then a second. Before she had a chance to notice, he leapt down again and returned to the garden. He jumped to his tree again, brandishing his two loaded pistols in his paws, and the unloaded one with his tail. Giving a screech, he got their attention. They looked up from where they were working to lay their bombs and almost jumped back in shock. Miko could see that they were trying to work out how to react to the heavily armed monkey that had just interrupted them. One of them pulled a pistol of his own and aimed it at Miko. Miko gave a snarl and aimed one of his own pistols right back. “The monkey is threatening me with a pistol,” said the man who was aiming at Miko. “So?” said his companion. “You have a pistol too. Shoot it.” “It might shoot me back.” “It’s a monkey! How good can its aim be?” “I don’t know, but it got three pistols from somewhere.” The other man pulled his own pistol and, without hesitation, aimed and shot it at Miko. The monkey dropped from the branch, avoiding the bullet, but fired his own pistol as he fell. One of the men gave out a cry of pain, and Miko heard running footsteps as he climbed back up. The two men had fled, but they had left a blood trail behind them. Should he follow them. Henri would probably want to know where they’d run to. At the same time, they had set up at least one bomb. That was probably more important. Miko jumped over the hedge to where they’d been working. There was a trail of the black powder leading into the garden and up to the house. That was probably bad. Miko followed the trail and found that it led to the cellars, but he couldn’t get in. He aimed his pistol at the lock and fired, but the bullet bounced off the metal that kept the door shut. He needed help. He couldn’t go to Constance and the others – Melinda might be cross that he’d stolen her pistols, and they were probably still talking about boring things. The staff would just ignore him or try to hit him with a broom. Could he threaten them with a pistol? Probably not a good idea. He returned to the house and bounded upstairs, heading for a different bedroom. This time, he didn’t let himself in but knocked at the door with the butt of his own pistol. It opened quickly, revealing Dahlia who looked surprised to see him, but let him in. He immediately bounced onto the bed. “What is it, Miko?” Dahlia asked. Miko bounced and chittered, trying to get Dahlia to follow him. She watched him carefully, trying to interpret his actions. After a few moments, she shook her head. Miko stopped and slumped onto the bed. Why, or why couldn’t these people ever understand him? “Just give me a second, Miko, then you can try again.” Dahlia concentrated for a moment, and to Miko’s eyes another presence appeared behind her – a tall, thin man who shifted in the air as if made from water vapour. A moment later he disappeared and Miko shivered. He didn’t care for Bangputis, Dahlia’s daeva. “Alright, Miko,” said Dahlia. “Try again, but slowly.” Miko again started to bounce and chitter. “I just scared away some men in the garden, but they’ve left black powder trails which lead into the cellars, and I can’t get in. I think they’re trying to blow up the house.” Dahlia nodded. “I see… that is a problem, isn’t it? Show me.” Miko was shocked. She had understood him! No doubt through some use of her sorcery, which he hated, but at least she seemed to put it to good use. And this was the best possible use! Anyway – time to go. He led Dahlia out of the room, and back to the garden where she also followed the black powder that led to the cellars. She tried the door and found it locked. “Alright Miko,” she said. “I’ll handle this. You need to find out where those men went – if we are to put a stop to these attacks, we need to track them down.” Miko nodded and prepared to jump into the streets. “Miko!” Dahlia called. Miko stopped and looked round. “Leave the pistols. You’ll attract enough notice as it is – you don’t want musketeers trying to stop you.” Miko, reluctantly, left the pistols with Dahlia and leapt over the hedge to follow the trail of blood. It went down the street in a weaving line. Miko was quite pleased – it must have been a good shot, especially since he’d taken it whilst falling off a tree branch. He hoped that this wouldn’t take too long – he had to get back to the hunt for his banana-bell, and he was certain that these two men hadn’t stolen it. He followed for several minutes before the blood trail led to a tavern and Miko wished he still had his pistols – you could find all sorts of nefarious types in taverns! And alcohol – which he’d recently had bad experiences with so he wouldn’t be touching – which made the nefarious people even more so! He went to a window and looked in. As Miko expected, the tavern was filled with people enjoying their drinks and, in some cases, dubious looking non-banana-based food. The blood trail was hidden beneath everything, but he had a stroke of luck – he spotted the two men from earlier going out the back. Miko quickly clambered up the wall of the tavern and over the roof to see the men getting into a cart. It looked like the injured one was going into the back, though the bleeding had stopped, so his wound must have been treated. The other was getting into the driving seat. The cart drove away and Miko leapt from rooftop to rooftop to follow it until, eventually, he was able to take the chance to leap to the cart itself and find a small niche under it to sit in. The cart rattled along for a while and Miko worked really hard to concentrate on what he was doing. He couldn’t go and find the bell now – he had to follow these people. Dahlia had said that everybody would want to know where they were going, and she probably knew best. Maybe, if he did this, Dahlia might get him a new bell. Then this would be a way of getting a bell without needing to find another one. That helped. The cart continued to bounce along and eventually everything went dark. Had the sun gone down? Miko looked out from his hiding place and saw that they had gone indoors, and now the cart was stopping. He hid again for a moment to make sure he wouldn’t be seen, and then left to explore the building. It was large and included stables with a few horses – he kept out of the way of those! Otherwise, the building seemed to be filled with boxes, each of which contained more of the black powder. Miko wasn’t sure what to do after that. The men had gone. It might have been fun to steal the cart, but he didn’t think he could open the large doors. There was a window high on the wall that he could escape through, but he certainly couldn’t get the cart up there. There didn’t seem to be any point staying – it didn’t have any bananas in it. He climbed up to the window and started to head back to the house. Thankfully, he’d done enough exploring with the others that he felt he could easily find the way back. And he might even find the banana-maid on the way! He started on his way, keeping his eyes peeled for the banana-maid and started to make good progress. He recognised the streets and only realised that there was a problem when he heard running feet behind him and calls of “Catch that monkey!”. He looked back over his shoulder to see what the problem was and saw two musketeers chasing him down. He shrieked in panic and ran for the nearest building to climb up it. It was very tall, with lots of stone creatures on top, and he didn’t need to go too high before he was confident that the musketeers couldn’t get to him. However, they did stand at the bottom and wait for him to come down. Miko started to get frustrated – all he wanted was a banana, and it was proving really difficult to get hold of one. He shouted down at the musketeers, even though he knew that they wouldn’t understand. In this case, it was probably for the best. Sitting on the building was getting boring, but the musketeers still weren’t going away. They were shouting something about a zoo, but anybody should have been able to tell that Miko wasn’t from a zoo – he was far too clever and sophisticated for that. He was a free monkey on a quest for a banana, and they weren’t respecting that. He had an idea though – he could get to the other side of the building, over the top, far quicker than they could run round it. Miko could create enough of a lead that he could lose them in the streets. He launched himself upwards and ran, hearing the cries of the musketeers behind him. He saw that the plan had worked when he jumped back down to street level, but not as much as he might have hoped – the musketeers were still in sight. He ran, weaving between people as much as he could, but many of them moved out of the way at the shouts of the musketeers. He ran to a fruit stand (no bananas) and tipped it over, which tripped one of his pursuers, but the other kept up the chase. Miko recognised that he was almost back to the house, and he needed to lose the man chasing him before then. Sadly, he’d picked up more pursuers, as the remaining musketeer had started to offer money to anybody that could catch the monkey. Miko continued to weave through the crowds, many of whom started to immediately chase after him when they heard the shouts of the crowd in pursuit. The next street had another crowd, and Miko almost stopped to turn another way. However, he saw that this crowd weren’t interested in him – they were watching two people fighting in the street with their swords. He kept running, weaving through the duel, surprising the crowd, and continuing to run. The musketeer stopped, also seemingly distracted by the duel, and the crowd that was chasing couldn’t get down the street. Once he’d turned the corner, Miko slowed down and calmed himself. Now – that was done and dealt with, so he could get back to the banana hunt. He needed to find the banana-maid, but he’d need to get back to the house to pick up the trail again. He proceeded and, when he got there, saw the banana-maid leading a small cart back to the house. It was filled with bananas! He leapt after her and onto the wagon, with its treasure trove and picked one out. He leapt from there to the shoulder of the banana-maid. She looked up at him in surprise and laughed. With a smile, she reached into her skirts and passed him the banana-bell. Miko took it with his tail, whilst he opened his banana. He looked back at the cart of bananas behind him and grinned. It was going to be a good few days.
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October 2021
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